- Yes, it is possible! There are some tips which we have not been taught from dance instructors. It works, indeed. It is, actually, powerful weapon!
We are repeatedly told that "a good connection between a leader and follower is the most important aspect of Zouk dancing". We all know this...in theory. But can you really connect with anyone you dance with? If not, when is it that you feel connected and when do you not? How do we connect with each person we dance with? Is it even possible every time?
When you are both connected in dance, it is likely to lead to an existence of a social connection if there are ample opportunities to meet in different contexts orthe next time you meet to dance. It can eventually lead to that particular person being part of your social network. And when you have an expansive social network, your horizons expands and your life gets more interesting. Sounds promising, isnt it? Imagine
Just one great connection with a dance partner can create a win- win situation!
So how we can improve our general connections in our social lives let alone especifically with zouk dancers? There are only a few times that I have seemed to make good connections at dance, and these occasions have also led to subsequent successful dancing connections. By reviewing these cases, I was able to identify how this happened.
Surprisingly, it was not purely from sharing a great, skillful dance together. In fact, it was the laughter that was shared, engaging in short conversation and even the simple act of introducing ourselves at the beginning of a dance. ( A power of small talk!! )These introductions actually helped to create a connection in our dancing, as both parties are made to feel relaxed and comfortable with each other.
Unfortunately, this cannot be taught; creating a connection with someone you have never met before is hard to achieve. We are not machines, therefore mechanically creating a connection with each person you dance with is not going to be achieved through dance techniques alone. However, small talk,such as joking and laughing with each other can be a really effective way to form a basis of a great connection. It is a very useful skill to have, even for making great networks outside of social dancing.
In fact, small talk is vital key to socialising with colleagues, customers or neighbours. It is effective in any situations, in anyway, and in my opinion is vital for inviting a good connection. It does not require deep conversation, only a friendly invitation to whom you are most likely going to share fantastic moments with on the dance floor. If you cannot think of anything to say, simply introducing yourself when you dance with your partner for thefirst time can work, and if you can find something to compliment the other person on, whether its their fashion or hairdo, that’s even better. Also, don't forget to say thank you after dancing with him or her! And if you really enjoyed dancing with them, do not be afraid to tell them so. Often the partner you danced with will feel the same and then you've found yourself another good social connection! The next time you dance with them will undoubtedly be much more carefree and natural.
The art of dancing is wonderful in itself, and I, for example, can just dance and dance without talking for hours. Many people may prefer not to talk with the dance partner, or maybe one might sometimes feel like dancing in silence when they normally don't. We are totally entitled to be self indulgent at times, and we may be able to connect with dance partners without any verbal communication. Yet, do you recall a time when someone invited you dance for the very first time and he or she made a good joke and made you laugh before you started to dance? Have you ever been complimented before starting to dance? Do you always introduce yourself to the dance partner when you meet for the first time? How did you feel? What happened next in your dancing as a result of this small talk? After sharinga laugh or smile together, how do you think this affected your consequent dancing? Moreover, what do you think will happen when you next meet this person?
Teachers sometime encourage us to become physically close, or may teach a technique of keeping a good distance by keeping frame of each other. Eye engagement is one of the non-verbal ways to connect with each other before, during and after dancing. An occasional smile will also help the connection too, as well as tactful leading and sensibly reacting to the leading. Evidently, there are so many other ways to improve a connection.
We tend to focus on dancing techniques and neglect the importance of the main reason why we are dancing. We want to feel happy and we also want the other person to feel the same. We all want to have a great time when we dance. Yes, we want to dance well, but we are not here to compete with zouk international dancers! Therefore, talking about the right attitudes, manners and etiquette at dance scenes are just as important in zouk dancing, and we must pay attention to it. When I started to dance, I could not afford to think of these aspects in Zouk as I just wanted to dance and did not think about anything else. But, as you develop your dance skills, you realize that you want to do more with your zouk dancing. I did not talk to anyone for the first six months that I danced, unless people actively approached me. As a result, I only had few people to talk to when the music stopped. And I started to realize it would be more fun, and I would be more happy if I made an effort to make good dance friends through zouk, as I had already spent quite a long time in the studio!
Lately, I have started to make an effort to introduce myself to people I meet at dance, and some changes have already begun. Once a partner and I have talked and shared a laugh together, dancing often goes smoothly. Even if the dancing did not go well, we can talk about how to improve together. We can review how this improved dancing will contribute to the next dance. When I see these people the next time, we talk about different things and exchange information. Now I can talk freely with many instructors and even get invitations to their home parties which I am truly grateful for. I am still reserved and quite a private person (nobody believes this but I am) so there are hurdles I have to overcome till I can make good connections without thinking too hard. This is my project as I am bad at making connection.Many people can already do this naturally, but lets finish off by saying, "small talk easy does it on zouk connections! " In Part 2, I will attempt to explore the practical techniques of improving connections with dance partners. Please do post if you have great knowledge or experience in this topic!